My daughter is getting married in about a month. And I have to say, if you were to grade my father of the bride performance, it would be a straight up A+.
First off, let me add in the fact that I am very happy for my daughter. She is marrying her high school sweetheart, and he is a fantastic young man even if he does root for LSU. They are having a very small wedding, which was their choice. And it’s a choice my wife and I certainly did not try and dissuade her from, because (a) smaller wedding = less headache and (b) most importantly, that’s what they want.
But there are still some details that have to be ironed out. And as I mentioned in the opening, I have been crushing my duties.
Or maybe I should say duty. I’m in charge of stamps.
My wife and daughter have spent a lot of time planning things, such as the design of the invitation. Or the reception venue. Or the menu for said reception. And my involvement has been, thankfully, not needed.
It’s not that I wouldn’t help if asked. But they know this stuff way better than I do. For example, if they were to ask me about a menu, my answer would be, “I dunno know. Food?”
It’s important to play your best players in the right position. And my position is stamps guy.
When we were sending out the invitations, we of course needed stamps. And that’s when I got the call. Or, rather, the text. “Can you pick up tulip stamps?”
Roger that, Captain!
I figured this would be an easy task. There is a post office across from my office, so I hopped on over and asked the clerk for some tulip stamps. The clerk started going through the stamps at her station. After a few moments, she said, “We don’t have any tulips.” Strike one.
But I would not be deterred. As I headed home from work, I stopped at a different post office. This is a much larger post office, and a much larger line as a result. After about 15 minutes in line, I reached the counter.
“Do you have any tulip stamps?”
“No.”
“OK, thanks. Bye.”
A woman in line behind me caught my eye and said, “Well that was a quick no.” Yes, ma’am, it was, but I have my orders, and I would not be deterred.
So I went to yet another post office, a small one on an island near my house. Surely the tulips had not been picked clean there.
I got to the counter and asked, again, for tulips. The clerk said, “No, we’re out of those.” Alas, a tulip bubble not seen since the 17th century Dutch Golden Age. (Trust me, that reference makes sense. Google it.)
I started to leave when the clerk said, “We do have hummingbirds. And manatees.” He presented two sheets of stamps. One had lovely hummingbirds and flowers. The other had big ol’ manatees, who while cute do not exactly evoke wedding vibes.
I paused for a moment and gazed over the hummingbirds. Kinda nice, I thought. I snapped a quick picture and sent it to my wife. I asked the clerk if I could take a moment to touch base with my wife. “These are for my daughter’s wedding, and I want to make sure I get the right ones.”
“Good call,” I heard from behind me. A woman was standing there and had been listening to the stamp discussion. She nodded that I was making a wise decision.
In no time, I had the approval to move forward with the hummingbird stamps. And my job was done.
I’m proud to say that I have executed my duties as father of the bride with aplomb. I am sure there will be additional times when I am called into service, and I will be there. As long as it’s not about the menu. Because my answer will just be “food?”
